One thing you need to know about us is that, from the outside looking in, our lives are extremely different. Extremely is almost an understatement. But despite the differences in our age, geography, and day-to-day lives, we manage to maintain one of the deepest friendships either of us has ever experienced.
Part of that has to do with the fact that we just get each other (we’re sure you have a friend like that). But it’s also because we’re both still interested in what it takes to find and foster real friendship.
That said, as we get deeper into our thirties, maintaining friendships and developing new ones becomes much harder. Throw significant others, technology, babies, big jobs, errands, exercise, and everything else into the mix, and nurturing our friendships can easily fall by the wayside. But, we feel it’s worth doing the work. Rock-solid friendships are crucial to overall well-being, perhaps even more so as we grow older.
We think you’ll love this if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the obligations of friendships in our complex lives or you are simply looking to deepen connections and become the best friend you can be.
In this episode we’re covering:
- Putting in the time to earn a healthy “low maintenance” friendship (a quick picture, a quick text to let someone know you are thinking of her) vs. the friends that use a low-maintenance approach as a way out of doing the work
- The joy of connecting friends to deepen friendships all around
- Ways to lead people to open up: offering to help, flirting through compliments, giving people more than one chance, setting a “next time” at an early interaction
- The importance of putting down your phone and putting yourself out there
- Acknowledging that you can’t expect every friend to meet your every need as long as you both agree on the nature of the friendship
- Getting over the hump of connecting and showing up (hint: stop bailing)
- The importance of vulnerability, listening and being less selfish in conversations
- Why we should nourish and serve others before serving ourselves
- Checking ourselves on putting in the work to maintain rich, lifelong friendships
- Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance
Production note: This episode was originally recorded in summer 2015.
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