Loneliness is a funny thing. Time and time again, we’ve found that the deepest pangs of loneliness strike us when we’re not actually alone. It creeps up on you in those moments where your life feels overwhelming full.
Things are going great at work, relationships are humming along, social calendars are jammed – and yet, we feel a gnawing, the kind of loneliness that sits like a pit in your stomach. Life is so busy yet it feels like something is missing. You can’t quite put your finger on what it is and you start “shoulding” all over yourself because you should be happy. But you’re not. For no other reason than you feel alone.
We call this The Loneliness Paradox and we’re digging into it in this week’s episode. To really go deep on this topic, we felt it was the perfect opportunity to bring on our first Life Lately guest! Joining us in this week’s episode is Harper Spero, an NYC based life coach.
Together, the three of us talk about how to combat loneliness regardless of your life situation (married, single, roommates, etc.), how to maximize your alone time to best serve you, and lastly, Harper’s five steps for building a community that aligns with your values.
We think you’ll love this episode if you’ve ever grappled with feelings of loneliness (in any form) and are looking for coping mechanisms as well as guidance on how to develop a meaningful community of your own.
In today’s episode we cover:
- how loneliness can strike during the moments you least expect it (moments of success, exciting life changes, etc.)
- the importance of asking for help and communicating your needs when those moments of loneliness strike
- the key difference between feeling lonely versus having alone time
- how crucial it is to develop alone time habits that serve you (spoiler alert: “no electronics involved”)
- how to integrate a meditation practice into your alone time
- the importance of “getting good” at being alone when it comes to the success of long term relationships
- using social media to your advantage when it comes to building community
- the power of bringing people into your home to combat feelings of loneliness
- removing toxic friends from your life and being really purposeful about how you spend your time with
- how building a larger community opens the door for developing deeper friendships
Here are Harper’s tried-and-true steps for building a community:
- What are your values and what values do you want to be aligned within the community?
- What’s the purpose or goal of building this community? What do you need to get out of it?
- How often do you want to engage with your community?
- How do you want to structure your community?
- What do you have to offer the group and what do you want to receive?
Harper works with clients by phone worldwide. Her clients range from people going through career transitions to new entrepreneurs to people looking to create a better work-life balance. She is currently accepting new clients and would love to connect with you!